Watching porn with Mr. Honey has deepened our relationship in so many ways, I wanted to write a quick post about why I think everybody should do it, and a little about why we don’t.
Okay first, why we don’t. I think the biggest reason is this: we have to admit we watch porn. In past relationships, I think it’s fair to assume the man was consuming some porn–something like 70% of men 18-24 consume porn at least weekly–and I was surely spending much time looking up and watching porn, but we never mentioned it to one another. Why? Perhaps because I never told anyone? I didn’t know any women who watched porn–me not talking about it with my friends made me assume they didn’t watch it. And perhaps because I was ashamed? I would have to admit how much porn I was consuming, for how long I’d been consuming that much porn, the kind of porn I liked, even now it’s a lot to face. Then, I judged myself so hard of course I assumed others would shame me to death. But what a shame! If I had shared I may have learned that my consumption and preferences were perfectly normal, and perhaps I would have had some really fun conversations about sex.
I’m so glad Mr. Honey encouraged us to watch and talk about porn together from the start. Here are the benefits as I see them:
1. You get to learn about one another’s turn ons, fantasies, preferences, and even turn offs 😜
Watching clips your partner found hot, sharing ones you found yourself, it opens the door for natural questions like: “What about this do you find hot?” “Would you like if we tried that?” That question can lead to fun places, unexpected answers (perhaps it’s the angle, or the lighting, not the look in her eyes or her body as you may have anticipated) and can inspire new creativity in bed. I love recreating what I see in porn in real life. And that leads me to number 2:
2. It can lead to play!
These days me and Mr. Honey watch all sorts of porn together, from soft-core television, to golden-age of porn films, to clips and photos we find on the web. When watching something sexual, it’s easy to get aroused, right? That’s typically why we are watching it. So, instead of watching alone, and touching myself, which can sometimes make me feel alone (or, if ashamed of watching porn, even more abnormal/sexually deviant), I can feel connected to my partner while watching, dissolving any sense of deviance or abnormality, and getting to engage in partnered-sex, which I personally prefer to masturbating. I love how casually play can arise–from sensual touching, to increased heat, to a hand-job to sensual oral to banging hot sex. And sometimes, it stays at just touching, and that’s nice too. Either way, I feel connected to my partner while engaging myself as a sexual being. Feels good.
3. You can learn new hot tips!
Porn doesn’t always set good examples, but sometimes it does. Watching a really hot blow-job inspires me to try new things. Watching porn and sharing what I find hot helps me learn my own fantasies, and how to communicate them. It’s a lot easier to say, “I find this threesome hot,” then randomly approach a conversation about a threesome fantasy.
So, DO IT! Are numbers 1 and 3 the same? 🤷🏽♀️ You decide. Meanwhile, DO IT!