When it comes to swinging, Mr. Honey and I are considered “newbies”: people who are new. Everyone has a different definition of how long someone might be a newbie before they are a seasoned swinger. For us, our first lifestyle event was a new year’s party at our local club two years ago. Since then, we’ve visited that and other clubs, attended a house party, played with another couple in their home, attended a hotel-takeover, and, most recently, took a Desire Cruise. We took the Desire 2023 Greek Island’s Cruise. The Desire Cruise was by-far and beyond our favorite, and I wanted to write a little bit about why. Why it’s so great, and why it’s especially great for newbies.
I’ve been telling my friends that “I have never felt more myself than on the desire cruise.” What an incredible feeling. Above all, it is an environment where everyone is encouraged to be themselves, whoever that is. How do they accomplish this? A few things, I think.
#1 Couple’s Only / High Barrier to Entry
First, the cruise is a bit pricey and couples only. Some people may not like this, if they prefer to play with singles, but we prefer to play with couples so that’s a win in our book. The price can get in the way of younger couples being able to afford the cruise–indeed, I’m pretty sure we were the youngest aboard our boat at 30 & 35, but age isn’t a determinative factor for us, so we didn’t mind that either. I think the cost and couple’s only requirement make for an exceedingly intentional space. Everyone on the boat spent the money and traveled to be there and spend a week playing with their beloved, and that makes for a very romantic, happy-to-be-here vibe. As we walked on the boat, it felt like everyone was a friend or a friend we hadn’t met yet. Everyone seemed happy. Everyone seemed in love. Men putting their hands on the smalls of their wifes’ backs; taking a photo of their wife at dinner whispering, “you look so hot in that outfit;” beaming naked together beside the pool; it is a super in-love and intentional crowd.
Also, like all swingers, but to a greater extent, the boat is filled with people who are master communicators. We learned so much from people’s flirtation, directness, soft-touches, and emotional intelligence. We sincerely admired nearly everyone we saw on the cruise. How cool to be surrounded by people deeply in love and experienced in the lifestyle, to hear their swing stories, to hear so many love stories, to be so casual about sex for a week.
#2 Clothing optional areas: relaxing & free
The boat has one clothing optional area and that’s the pool deck. We were worried there might be restrictions on the hours or days, but we didn’t experience those on our cruise. It was so nourishing waking up each day and seeing so many different naked bodies at the pool, soaking up some sun. Men, women, older, younger, bigger, smaller, it made nudity feel normal (as I believe it should feel).
On the second to last day, I finally built up the courage to go topless at the pool and how freeing it was. A friend we had met the day prior came over to chat with us, and I was just laying there topless. It was arousing to me how normal something so-typically-taboo could be. I felt such confidence. Nothing bad happened. Nothing sexual happened. I was allowed to just be. Everyone was.
#3 Great theme parties: Every night is a sexy vibe
Everyday had a similar cadence. For us, being new, it was hard to party for 7 days straight. After having a big first night, we skipped the following two before rallying for the rest of the week. Each night, a daily program is delivered to your door so you can get a sense of the port you’ll be stopping at (if any), activities and workshops on the boat that day, the restaurant menus, and the nightly entertainment, which was typically a sexy cabaret show followed by a theme party with a DJ. The themes aboard our cruise included glow night, white night, candyland, rockstars, and cabaret. There was also a pool party during the sea day.
We thought the DJs were very good, especially DJ Tatiana, who deejayed the White Night, which is the biggest night on the boat. It was emotional for me that night, seeing all the couples dancing, everyone so free on the dance floor. There is so much love and freedom in the air, it’s exhilarating. Imagine, every time you were afraid to be yourself, getting the bravery to show yourself, and the world saying in response, “We love you! Stay!”
My outfits got gradually more and more risqué and it was so fun and affirming to be surrounded by other people, women especially, all trying to wear as little as possible. Everyone is a little naughty, a little rulebreaky, a little deviant, like me.
On our boat, it was easy to move between the dance floor and a lounge area with quieter music. This movement allows for dancing, being seen or meeting a couple, and then being able to move seamlessly to a quieter setting to talk a bit. It felt so easy to talk to people, so unlike vanilla-world, it’s hard to describe. It really felt safe, like everyone wanted to get to know us, whoever we were. It helps that we’re hot, sure. But even people I saw at the beginning of the cruise (it was a great deal of couple’s first cruise, and/or first time doing anything lifestyle adjacent), people who were clearly shy, by the third day they had unfolded, blossomed into happy-go-lucky naked people like everyone else, surrounded by friends. And that’s worth mentioning too! Not everyone on the cruise identified as a swinger. A lot of folks were exhibitionists, or they just liked the vibe. How inclusive. Everyone is encouraged to do the boat and spend the time their way. No judgment.
Although the boat includes lots of alcohol and you can buy additional alcohol packages, we didn’t experience too many people beyond-tipsy. This is typically our experience in swing settings, but I liked that, even more so on the boat, people were serious about swinging, not drinking.
#4 Sex Nerds: Playroom & Workshops set the tone
And of course, there was a playroom onboard. I would have been happier if it had been open for more hours of the day, but the room itself was sexy and available every day from 10:30pm-3am. The room was the same one they used for the workshops, which I loved. Even though I only attended two (one by Amber Mallery and another by Jess O’Reilly), there were workshops nearly everyday and it was fun hearing about the experience or sharing learnings with other couples. It made the cruise feel like a boat full of sex nerds, in the best way.
In vanilla-world (which is what I’m calling the real world ever since we got off the boat), it seems nearly impossible to talk about sex, even with people I’m close to. What happened to college, when we talked about this stuff? I ask myself. Am I a weirdo? Weirdo or not, I did not feel weird on the boat. Everyone is a sex-enthusiast, into sex and into their relationship in a nerdy way. I dug that vibe so much, and the workshops really reinforced it. Plus, I did learn things, which is always fun.
It was cool to see people over the course of the night. A couple we talked to and wanted to play with but the timing didn’t work, we saw exiting the playroom with another couple. What a fun experience, not to feel hard feelings or jealousy at not being picked; there’s enough to go around. And everyone there is answering first to their partner, far more so than I’ve experienced in any other swing setting; it just felt so mature. Mature, direct, honest, playful. Perfect.
Conclusion
I can’t recommend the experience highly enough. It feels like a drug, my desire to be able to feel that way again. And although the general feeling of freedom and fun mirrored that of the clubs we’ve visited and the hotel takeover we attended, no experience has felt more romantic, safe and inclusive than the Desire Cruise.
Big heart energy, and lots of kisses ~ Honey
