Oh, the lapdance. At our local lifestyle club, birthday celebrations involve lapdances, but I always felt too shy to get up there. So I studied, and I practiced, and now I am here to share the keys to a successful dance, even if you skip cardio or don’t know how to twerk. There are three critical components: The hands, the eyes, and the hips. If you remember nothing else, typically, the slower, the sexier (and going slower also gives you time to think and plan). These tips apply to both men and women.
But first, how to think about lapdancing. The technical aspects–which I think can be broken into: (a) the approach/before any touching (b) front facing moves and (c) back facing moves–are relatively easy, so long as you remember one thing. A lapdance is seduction; it is an ad for how you fuck. So, you cannot try to be sexy in the way someone else is sexy. A lapdance is not the time to practice things that do not feel natural to you, do that in a dance class. When you are lapdancing, remember that you do fuck. You know how to fuck. Ideally, you like how you fuck.* If you have a spouse or partner, this person likes how you fuck. Of all the people out there, they chose you. They like fucking you the best. So back yourself. Believe in yourself and your own sexiness, and do what feels right and good to you.
Finally, this is a tease. You want them to want more. So don’t immediately go in for a dick/boobie grab, or a kiss, or anything else. Breathe on them. Smell them. Act like you are going to caress in between legs but then don’t. As you escalate the dance, get more arousing: rub your pussy on their cock, put your nose up against her panties, or have the receiver grab you in the way they’ve been so desperately wanting to. Show off that you are a patient, confident person who will savor and enjoy the goods.
1. The Eyes: Show them how you feel
Most important are the eyes. You want to smile with your eyes. The easiest way for me to do this is to think of a hot spank-bank memory. I call these “spank-bank-eyes.” Remember and visualize the memory, and hold it in your mind while you gaze at the person you are seducing. I’ll also use those same eyes when I look at my body. I’m thinking, and communicating with my eyes while they look at my body: “Oh, I want to fuck me. Oh my god, I am so hot.” Then, I turn the gaze toward the lapdance-receiver, slightly more innocent, asking: “Don’t you want to fuck me?” And then I firm up the gaze, confident, focusing on the spank-bank image, or the thought of how sexy I am, and project: “I want to fuck you” with my eyes. If you are strong in the eyes, everything else you do with your hands and hips is just decoration.
2. Hands: Show them where to look
Hands show your receiver where to look and what to fantasize about. You are teasing them, touching yourself where they want to touch you, and drawing their eyes and attention to where you want them to look. Lightly caress your shoulders, your neck, and your face. Move the hands downward, directing their gaze to your chest/breasts, your waist, your hips, your pussy or cock. If you’re a lady and your back is to them, I like to slightly straddle my legs, slip my hand through and tap my pussy as if I were playing do-re-mi on a piano. Or I’ll grab my ass and spread or smack it. Whatever parts of your body you want to show off, you accentuate with your hands.
3. Hips: Show them how you fuck
Of course, there are lots of ways to move your hips in sexy way. Three easy ways are: 1) swaying, side to side, the more you bend your knees the bigger and more exaggerated the sway; 2) circles, I like to imagine standing in a big bowl of cookie dough, and my hips are the spoon, stirring the dough; and 3) figure eights/infinity loops, where you imagine your hips are drawing an infinity symbol or the number 8. Whatever you do, don’t forget about using your hands here. They won’t notice your hips if you don’t direct their attention to them. And, again, the slower, the sexier. Even if the song is fast, you can dance slow. You’ll last longer too.
I like to show off my hips in front, before I approach, then I’ll turn around and slightly sit on them, using one of these techniques to gradually awaken the penis, grinding on him and pulling him up and out of his tucked away place. (While you are grinding, you can also think of your hips as a paintbrush, and paint forward and back). If you are a man, it can be super sexy to do a little hips work face to face but out of reach, then slightly straddle one of her legs and then do more hip circles/sways/infinities while touching yourself/having her touch you. Ladies, if you are standing slightly away from him (facing either way), you can bend down, always standing up ass first, caressing your legs all the way through. Men, rather than grind on her, walk around her, lifting her arms and caressing them, or having them caress you. Again, most important here is to allow yourself to feel sexy and be into yourself. It can feel goofy, but if other people can be sexy while giving lapdances, why can’t you?
Here’s a song I like to get you started:
Good luck! Let me know how it goes.
😘😘 Honey
*If you do not like how you fuck, change the way you fuck.