Best Places to Buy (Swinger) Partywear

Before I became a swinger, we might’ve attended one costume party a year. Date nights, weddings…there were truly few options to wear clothing that I felt matched and reflected who I am inside. Halloween parties never got as slutty as I was hoping, and I felt I could only push the bounds so much around our friends. This naughty, slutty, stylish me was all caged up inside. Swinging set her free.

Now, my passion for slutwear knows no bounds. I love wearing as little as possible in both vanilla and swing settings, looking to r/whyevenwearanything for inspiration. I understand now how important what we wear can be in furthering self-expression (which I believe to be my Great Purpose). When I wear clothes that feel like me, I feel more myself and self-expression comes naturally. When I wear clothes that do not feel like me, the whole situation is suspect because who I am I trying to be? Why I am I trying to be someone or dress the part of someone other than myself?

Becoming a swinger gifted me the ability to pursue self-expression through fashion and clothing in a whole new way. Nearly every Lifestyle event has a theme, and in the club setting, it is expected that women will change from their costume or evening wear into lingerie midway through the night. That’s TWO opportunities to style myself (and my husband) in exciting and erotic wears at every event! I cannot express how hype it makes me to dress myself in clothes that empower me to be my full, wild, sexy, show-off self.

Once I’m dressed the part (me), I play it. It is so much easier to be me, my divine self who trusts life and loves people and knows no fear, when I dress accordingly.

Have I convinced you to find clothes that help you live out loud? Good. Now, where does one find clothes that can impress even the sluttiest of sluts? Here are my top recommendations. I invite you to play with your look! What you like to wear may change as rapidly as you do.

Shein ($)

Shein tops my list because it is outrageously affordable. Every Lifestyle event is cause for a new outfit (on top of the cost of attending), and the costs can add up fast. I find that shopping on Shein allows me to be more forgiving and spontaneous (who cares if I didn’t end up wearing a $7 set?) and also more prepared (why not buy the devil costume and another set of lingerie and a sailor outfit? Surely events where such dress is appropriate will arise). Costumes and lingerie are generally non-refundable, final purchases no matter where you shop or how much you spent. The price point allows me to not wear something just because I bought it, and even reduces the pressure to attend any given party because I am prepared for every possible party theme, not just the one we planned to attend. With Shein, you can quickly build a wardrobe of options that will allow perfect spontaneity.

Spontaneity is total sincerity.

Allan Watts

There is at least a little compliment-inflation in swing settings, because complimenting someone on their clothes is a way to start a conversation. That said, I regularly get complimented on my costumes and lingerie in swing (and vanilla) settings. At least two thirds of what I am wearing when I get those compliments is from Shein! It’s very Midwest of me, but there is a simple joy in knowing how little I paid for something that competes with the best costumes of the night. If you are someone who does not like spending money, or loves a deal, or doesn’t know yet what shapes and silhouettes work for you, Shein is a wonderful resource! It’s so affordable, it’s okay to play. It’s a $5-15 dollar risk instead of hundreds. And accessories (which I believe take all costumes to the next level) are literally a dollar or two.

Items I’ve purchased from Shein: nearly all my swimsuits / micro bikinis, nurse costume, cat costume, bunny ears, lingerie, rockstar outfit, ravewear, coverups, corsets, booty shorts, Greek costume, fishnets, body jewels, glitter, waist chains, necklaces, heels, boots, men’s costuming, men’s dress clothing and jewelry, men’s shoes.

Pros: Affordable, tons of options for men and women, often multiple colors of the same item, most standard sexy costumes (nurse, cop, devil, maid, etc.) available in many sizes.

Cons: Quality is hit or miss (of course!), takes time to ship.

Tips: When looking at an item, see if the model is standing funny. That might mean the fit is strange. Ask yourself whether you like the model or the item. Search with specificity. Also, items marked “marketplace” typically ship separately and can be a bigger hassle to return. You can make a Shein item appear more expensive by pairing it with a non-Shein item.

Adult Stores ($$-$$$)

In terms of reliability, “adult stores“ and “stripper stores” almost always come through. I use these words in particular because these are the words that, when typed into Google Maps, will yield the most promising results. I typically do not go to places that are called “Lingerie Stores” because the price point is much higher, with the most affordable items starting in the $70s. Still, they may be worth a visit to learn the inventory. I’ve visited every “sex store,” “adult store,” “stripper store,” in my area, and I recommend you do the same. It’s so fun seeing all the options out there. And you’ll quickly learn which stores have what, which can be really helpful if you are ever in a pinch and need something the same day. Typically, these stores have items to cover the most common themes (doctor, construction worker, maid), but mostly I use their items for when a theme boils down to a color.

These stores are typically going to carry string sets, bodysuits, sets for exotic dancers, swimsuits, sexy costumes, box sets, lingerie, and shoes. Some might also carry toys, games, massage oils, furniture, etc. The quality will be nicer than Shein for sure. Whereas Shein items have questionable longevity, in my experience, the items I’ve gotten at brick-and-mortar stores last longer, don’t get as easily bent out of shape, and can be worn multiple times. Also, the items are rarer (sometimes one of a kind!), so you’re less likely to run into someone in the same outfit. Special shout out to The Kandy Store, if you find yourself in the Philadelphia area, it’s my all-time favorite. Angel Candy Shop (online) is a great place for strings. In terms of chains, I like Hustler Hollywood a lot, they are always professional with a wide selection and typically you can try things on. Finally, many adult stores give an “entertainer discount,” if you do sex entertainment.

Items I’ve purchased from adult stores: strings, bedazzled bodysuit, bedazzled swimsuit, box costume sets, mesh, swimsuits, heels, tops, cat and devil ears, sex toys.

Pros: Same-day pick up, in-person shopping experience, higher quality, cool vibe.

Cons: Expensive ($$-$$$), limited inventory

Amazon ($$)

I don’t love listing Amazon here, because my success has been sporadic, but I think it might be THE BEST option for menswear. Shein is good but it takes too long in a pinch and the sizing is inconsistent for menswear. Amazon has provided us with so many last minute slutty-enough options for my husband, and it also has a trove of sex-joke-t-shirts, which is typically an acceptable play for a man at a Lifestyle event. Amazon is also typically less expensive than adult stores if you need something that will arrive shortly but don’t want to spend a pretty penny. It’s worth a look.

Items I’ve purchased from Amazon: Doctor costume, men’s slutty swimsuit, accessories, glow in the dark crayons, markers and tattoos

Pros: Ships quickly, wide variety, MENSWEAR

Cons: Quality is hit or miss, typically it’s the same product from Shein but marked up which can feel lousy in the moment

Honorable Mentions: Beauty Supply Stores, Costume Stores, Etsy, Party City

I can’t recommend these as places to check out every time because I’d say my success rate at beauty supply stores, costumes stores, and Etsy is low (I have one to four items from each over three years of Lifestyle events), but sometimes, they surprise to the upside.

I use Etsy when I want something custom. In particular, The Duchess of Detroit has made me my favorite swimsuits ever. If you are looking for something very specific (i.e. dick lollipops without artificial flavoring, yoni-shaped candles, hypoallergenic glow-in-the-dark earrings), custom, or high quality (and you have time before the event), I recommend looking on Etsy.

If you need a small accessory for hair or body, sometimes Beauty Supply Stores come through (if you type those words into Google Maps you’ll get there). Think fishnets, body jewels, stick-on nails, barrettes and scrunchies, hats, bags, and cheaply made clothing.

Similarly, I like Party City for accessories. They have some sexy stuff! Especially for menswear, the accessories might be the whole costume, and Party City has a variety of options year-round.

Finally, if you are going to a vanilla setting, or want a costume that is obviously in theme, maybe a costume store will have what you are looking for. I don’t typically go to costume stores anymore because the costumes aren’t slutty enough, but if you are creative with styling or just looking for accessories, they aren’t a bad option, especially if you need something same day. Typically, the prices are higher ($$-$$$), but it depends.

Let me know if I missed something!! Happy Shopping!